WITH APPOLOGIES TO AN EX

To quote coaching chum Duke Fisher, “Well Miller, you have stepped on your d@#$ again.” Yep, I fully admit to it and I am sorry.

I have a bad habit of trying to be funny. The bad habit is, despite my attempts, sometimes I am not at all funny…and sometimes I may hurt people’s feelings along the way. I don’t always feel regret when I hurt people’s feelings, those who I THINK deserve it, but I feel great regret when I say things without thinking them through and hurting people who don’t deserve it.

I wrote a teaser to advertise one of my books and included a “whimsical shot” at my ex. It was nothing more than an attempt to sell a book or fifteen and to be humorous. It would appear that I have failed on both counts. “Which ex do you ask?” For those of you who don’t know, I am not proud to announce, “I have two ex-wives.” I am also not proud to announce, “It was probably, mostly, my fault that I have two ex-wives.” I can give all types of excuses but in all honesty the bottom line is, “I was an immature jerk.” I also believe there is a “universal” plan in effect and that, for at least one of us, having exes was a good, if selfish, thing. I have managed to find the third time charm. I just celebrated my thirtieth anniversary with Linda Gail. This one might work out but I am taking no chances.

Both of my exes are fine people who have gone on with their lives…amazingly without me. The mother of my child did a wonderful job of raising our daughter into a woman and mother in her own right, that we both can be proud of, and with very little input from me. She did it while pursuing a career and maintaining her own household.

My teaser informed my possible readers that “If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.” It is just a teaser. Both of my exes are retired educators. That should tell you all you need to know about their hearts. Again, so sorry for my faux pas. You should realize how sorry I am since I used the little puppy dog meme. I promise never to attempt to use humor at your expense again.

I do have one request Facebook friends. Can we keep this between the thousand or so of you and me. Linda Gail already knows how stupid I can be.

However, if you wish to read more of my unique humor try clicking on http://goo.gl/lomuQf

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