“If you’re trying to change someone you love, you don’t love them. It’s the oddnesses, the most unique imperfections that you’d miss the most. That’s the stuff you can’t replace. Everything else is easy to come by.”
A family visitation, a funeral, a granddaughter’s graduation from pre-school and a ninetieth birthday party for my wife’s stepmother’s sister, all in the space of twenty-four hours. My wife is up to her chin in all of them it seems…at least in her own mind. She seems happiest when up to her chin in alligators while juggling the flaming batons of life. She is happy a lot.
She is the wild mustang unencumbered by a bridle or rider, mane blowing in the wind as she runs hither and yon. Life, for me, is easier when she can run amok like a chicken with her head cut off. After nearly thirty-two years I realize, “She ain’t gonna change” and now I’m not sure I want her to.
She juggles OUR lives, flaming torches or razor-sharp knives be damned. She reminds me of a Lucille Ball skit, having to stuff chocolate into her mouth or blouse. Lucy and Ethyl just trying to keep up with a conveyor belt full of chocolate…hers is the conveyor belt of life.
I see her as the tuxedo-clad dandy spinning plates on sticks on the old Ed Sullivan Show. Running from pole to pole as the plates begin to slow and wobble, spinning them faster, attempting to keep them from falling off.
When all is done, she never quite loses a plate and all the chocolates are lined up neatly in boxes instead of her bra. Life can be difficult and sometimes she gets nicked or burned as she juggles but never enough for her to quit.
She said, “I’m not getting involved in this party! No way, no how! She has sons, let them….” Translation: “She’s up to her chin alligator poop.” And by association, so am I.
Our home and yard may be wrecks but somehow, we have time to take over the party preparations because “It needs to be done right.” That might translate into, “It needs to be done my way.”
In between the funeral and graduation, she runs around arranging tables and chairs…again and again, and, again. She agrees to pick up ice cream and a cake. She has plenty of time after all.
Creating flower arrangements, she purchased plants a month ago…and two weeks ago…and yesterday. Standing back with her head cocked to the side, deciding if it is perfect enough or does putting in a bit of greenery make it more perfect. If one New Guinea impatient will work, a dozen will be a dozen times more perfect. Two dozen?
It is eight a. m. before the party at three. She’s headed out to do her magic. What is magic is how she got all of those plants, containers and pink tissue into one vehicle the size of a Jeep instead of a transfer truck. Sorcery?
I’m left to care for the puppies, who don’t need my care. In their youth, they feared thunderstorms and we are getting our gracious plenty. They are so terrified, they are sacked out around my feet. One lying on her back, the other curled up with a paw across its nose. Really terrified.
Still, her orders, “Take care of my puppies. Give them some love.” They are the puppies we weren’t going to bring home fourteen years ago, “We’re not getting one, we are just going to look.” She was correct, we didn’t get one…we got two. They are blind and old now. They only have a mind’s eye for their mommy.
It’s a ploy I’ve seen through for years. She just wants to do the preparations herself. It is just her “thing” and I’m not about to change her “thing”. Telling me to care for the puppies while she is gone is just her way of keeping me involved…without involving me.
In her mind, she is still twenty-five…and in my mind too I guess. She’s not twenty-five but that doesn’t stop her from running from hot spot to hot spot, putting out fires that need to be put out. Sometimes starting wildfires, sometimes adding gasoline, sometimes supplying a match before figuring out how to put out the fire she started.
The thoughts of her running about like “the roof ain’t nailed on tight” causes me to smile.
I wonder how a body as small as hers accommodates such a huge heart. A heart intent on doing good deeds. A heart blind enough to say “Yes” to a two-time loser when I asked her to marry me.
I’m thankful for all her quirks and downright insanities…if we can just get through the next few hours.
The quote came from Write Like Nobody Is Reading by Crystal Woods.
The image is from https://www.scarlettentertainment.com/page/uk-fire-jugglers
Don Miller’s author’s page may be found at https://www.amazon.com/Don-Miller/e/B018IT38GM
Thanks for taking the time to read.