Got my first one of the season! March 26, 2019. A little after nine in the p.m. Little bastard flew in front of my computer screen and I squished him flatter than a toad frog on a four-lane. I had to clean him off the screen, but the screen needed cleaning anyway and I got him before he got me. Let the war begin.
I am eccentric for many reasons, one of which is, I welcome Skeeter Killin’ Season with a smile on my face. I celebrate Skeeter Killin’ Season like Christmas. I drink toasts with Myers dark rum and tonic while doing a happy dance in honor of Skeeter Killin’ Season despite living in a target rich environment. Not as rich as our coastal regions but still, very rich.
I live in the foothills of South Carolina and for most of three seasons we have the little bastards along with gnats, no see ums but you feel em, deer flies, horse flies, chiggers, ticks, hornets, wasps and yellow jackets. All bite, sting or fly up your nose and at their best are just annoying. At their worst, they are damn painful.
Why then, am I doing a happy dance? A better question might be, why do I try to dance? My dance resembles Joe Cocker holding on to a live battery cable and gets worse as I continue to toast the season with my adult beverage.
Skeeter Killin’ Season coincides with the sun rising higher and higher in the sky and staying there for longer periods of the day. Yes, it coincides with rising temperatures and humidity. I don’t care…happy dance, happy dance, happy dance!
Never will I gripe about the heat. I have found over the years I tolerate heat and humidity much better than the short, gray days and the cold temperatures of winter. If this country boy has Deep Woods OFF, he will survive…and an air conditioner he can escape to.
I can’t escape the short days of winter. I can’t escape the cold seeping into my bones and the depression quashing my will to survive. There will still be the occasional depressing day but the sun, high in the sky, will beckon and the melancholy will be as short-lived as a late afternoon thunderstorm.
It is the season of rebirth, blooming colors of white, yellow, gold, pink, orange and purple. Green leaves, green grass, green mold, and green mucous discharges.
It is the season of planting and playing in the dirt while anxiously awaiting tomato sandwiches running in Duke’s Mayonnaise, garden fresh corn on the cob and fried okra. It is the season for rising spirits despite the stinging insects, heat, humidity, and allergies.
I still must deal with the skeeters and have tried about everything except a Bug Zapper…homemade traps, bombs, and sprays, lanterns with the smell of citronella wafting through the evening air…mixing with an aroma of OFF. All with limited success or to no avail.
When the bloodsuckers are thicker than a cold bowl of cheese grits, I try to forget a winter drive along the coast when I battled both the low winter sun AND the little sucking bastards. On a lonely highway through black water swamps and pine forests, I felt the call of nature and pulled off onto a double track dirt road leading through a turpentine camp to relieve myself. Damn, little bastards tried to take off with my man part while my wife laughed and laughed and laughed.
Further musings and a book or eight can be found at https://www.amazon.com/Don-Miller/e/B018IT38GM
Ravings of a Mad Southerner 